Yet another made-for-TV Sci Fi Channel original movie. With terrible scripts, low rent CG, and low budgets consisting of pocket change and a used gum wrapper, these movies are perhaps more famous for being rip offs of better movie than they are for the list of B-list, C-list, and God only knows what-list levels of … Continue reading Sabretooth (2002)
I love action movies with completely nonsensical, ridiculous plots that exist purely to put some completely miscast action star directly in the path of danger, possibly alongside an equally miscast comedian in a sidekick role. Lo and behold, here's exactly what I want in a film: Knock Off. Jean-Claude Van Damme is a member of … Continue reading Knock Off (1998)
Blue collar space movies are always a delight. Often times they're full of working class Joes who are highly skilled at what they do but are not always the brightest when it comes to whatever terrible situation they find themselves getting into. Alien is the high mark, but the misfits of Dark Star, the non-astronauts … Continue reading Space Truckers (1996)
That image makes this movie feel way more Slavic than it actually is. Robots in movies! We all love robots in movies. There's nothing quite like the near-constant whine of robotic joints and servos every single time one moves that makes us cringe and take icepicks to our ears. Seriously, whoever thought this was a … Continue reading Omega Doom (1996)
1980s America. What a fantastic place it was, where any white kid could get a gun and try to solve the world's problems. Red Dawn, Born American, Savage Streets...the kids end up highly armed and, well, often times dead. Wasn't it grand? Enter The Zero Boys. Steve, Larry, and Rip are a paintball team known … Continue reading The Zero Boys (1986)
Physical disability tends to boil into two camps in B-grade or exploitation film: it's there to engender sympathy in the audience, or it's there to provide some kind of handicap for a protagonist to overcome in some way. For example, a movie like Savage Streets features a deaf character, whose purpose is to be brutally … Continue reading Blind Fury (1989)
Groundhog Day. We have a strange love affair with this movie. We compare other movies to it, such as Happy Death Day being Groundhog Day as a slasher, Edge of Tomorrow being Groundhog Day an alien invasion war movie, Boss Level as a pure action take on Groundhog Day, and so on. It isn't our … Continue reading The Endless (2017)
I don't watch much in the way of romance movies. It's one of those genres I have a major blindspot for, like teen movies or dance movies not about break dancers in the 1980s. Hell, I've seen more episodes of Manimal than I have some of these genres, and there's only eight of those. Why … Continue reading Harold and Maude (1971)
I can confirm that Tom Selleck's mustache is great no matter the year, no matter the genre. You can practically feel the machismo oozing off of his upper lip's grizzled fur baby. If you learn nothing else today, know that your face will never look as cool as his befollicled nasal undercarriage. And for that, … Continue reading Runaway (1984)
I watch a surprising amount of prison movies. It's not that I have any special affinity towards prison, but the setting makes for an easy method to tell tales of violence, drama, and survival against harsh odds often imposed by other people. Prison makes for an exploitative arena, though the films that focus on it, … Continue reading Scum (1979)
