Canada has given us many fantastic things over the years: comedians, beer, embarrassing photographs of their prime ministers, hockey supremacists, more beer, the list goes on and on. And most of those things are good. But are they truly great? Well...yes, ok, Canada has given the United States some truly great stuff. Awesome job, guys. … Continue reading Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)
You know what's great? Travel movies. The kind of film where folks move from city to city, country to country, enjoying the sights, talking with the locals, researching people they don't know, getting involved in sordid tales of crime, espionage, murder, and eventually ending the matter in a filthy, condemned apartment in Paris with a … Continue reading The Mask of Dimitrios (1944)
I wanted to start this off with a fun fact: I keep a monster locked in my basement. It mewls and growls, and I appease it by bringing it roadkill or whatever dead animals I can find. I don't do this out of a desire to keep it prisoner, but rather to show I love … Continue reading Antlers (2021)
I didn't go to my Senior Prom. School dances were never really my thing, despite having been to several, and I didn't see much difference between a Homecoming versus a Prom. Why go to a place to grind, get drunk, and have awkward teenager sex under the watchful eye of an old guy nicknamed “Coach” … Continue reading Dance of the Dead (2008)
If there is one thing horror movies have taught me (and there are many, many things horror movies have taught me), it's to never be the last person inside anywhere. It's not necessarily about being the first person out, but definitely do enough cardio and be willing to trip folks so you're not the last. … Continue reading Last Shift (2014)
Mining the depths of bad taste for movies will lead you through a lot of crap. Much of it is stuff that's entertaining, probably for the wrong reasons. However, sometimes you find a gem, not notable for its quality but because of its rarity or its surprising significance in the career of a particular actor, … Continue reading The Undertaker (1988)
Yet another made-for-TV Sci Fi Channel original movie. With terrible scripts, low rent CG, and low budgets consisting of pocket change and a used gum wrapper, these movies are perhaps more famous for being rip offs of better movie than they are for the list of B-list, C-list, and God only knows what-list levels of … Continue reading Sabretooth (2002)
I love action movies with completely nonsensical, ridiculous plots that exist purely to put some completely miscast action star directly in the path of danger, possibly alongside an equally miscast comedian in a sidekick role. Lo and behold, here's exactly what I want in a film: Knock Off. Jean-Claude Van Damme is a member of … Continue reading Knock Off (1998)
Blue collar space movies are always a delight. Often times they're full of working class Joes who are highly skilled at what they do but are not always the brightest when it comes to whatever terrible situation they find themselves getting into. Alien is the high mark, but the misfits of Dark Star, the non-astronauts … Continue reading Space Truckers (1996)
That image makes this movie feel way more Slavic than it actually is. Robots in movies! We all love robots in movies. There's nothing quite like the near-constant whine of robotic joints and servos every single time one moves that makes us cringe and take icepicks to our ears. Seriously, whoever thought this was a … Continue reading Omega Doom (1996)
Movie Reviews by a Mook 