If you're wondering if this movie is as bad as that poster makes it seem...yes. Yes, it is. In the 1980s, an evil cult run by an immortal Satanist seeks a magic jewel that contains immense power from an undreamed of age. They also like to hold private parties for teams of buxom women to … Continue reading The Lost Empire (1984)
Years ago I caught part of this flick on television. The scene involves our heroine, Kelly, discovering that her pizza has a face right before it attacks her. This was forever burned into my brain apparently, because when I encountered that scene again on YouTube a few months ago, I immediately recalled it and decided … Continue reading House IV (1992)
Ok, 1982 happens. Conan the Barbarian comes out, and to everyone's amazement, it's a hit. Folks immediately move to cash in, and bam, the Sword and Sorcery fantasy subgenre moves into the exploitation sphere that had been inhabited by the likes of Italian Sword and Sandal movies two decades before. Sorceress sounds like something a … Continue reading Sorceress (1982)
Does that poster look cool to you? Well too bad, the movie's nothing like that. I decided recently that I've been watching too many good movies, so I thought it would be best to watch something completely abhorrent, and man, did I succeed. Did I ever. Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders is ostensibly a children's … Continue reading Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996)
It may come as a shock that I'd never seen the original Child's Play. In fact, I've only seen Child's Play III before this; the rest of the series was something I just never paid much attention to. Having now seen the original, I wonder if it would at least be worth finishing off the … Continue reading Child’s Play (1988)
That poster is needlessly exploitative and also wholly wrong about what this movie is about. It's not about the "Panther Woman" destroying men but instead about the horrors of science run amok at the hands of unethical scientists. So, you know, not something we needed to be advertising in Germany in the 1930s... Island of … Continue reading Island of Lost Souls (1932)
It surprises me that for all the classic horror that Hammer Films produced in the late 1950s, it wasn't until the sequels to their versions of Frankenstein and Dracula were out before they turned to the tale of the werewolf in 1961. It's a classical take with a werewolf clearly pulling from the Lon Chaney … Continue reading The Curse of the Werewolf (1961)
