I watch a lot of movies with outrageous posters, but that is actually Nicole Eggert's costume in the film, down to the cowcatcher face mask she sports when kicking butt. Why does she wear a train grill as a mouth guard? I have no idea. It's explained to be some kind of two-way radio, but … Continue reading The Demolitionist (1995)
I really have to hand it to the artist, that movie poster is so much better than the actual film. I mean, I think I can finger a detail or two in there which isn't in the film itself, but with so much going on, I bet you can put your thumb on it too. … Continue reading Demonoid (1981)
A tower. A ridiculously massive sniper rifle. A couple of folks with a history who dislike and yet obviously lust after each other. A couple of unusual security guards. A stoic Dolph Lundgren. Silent Trigger is the kind of borderline action thriller that is cheap, occasionally sleazy, and somehow tries to be philosophical and end … Continue reading Silent Trigger (1996)
Ever wonder what twisted thoughts lurk in the darkest corners of Canada? If you figured it included Saturday morning Sentai shows, troubling family dynamics, and aliens potentially questioning their sexuality, then you know a lot more about Canada than I do. And you'd also somehow be right, which just makes this weirder. After deftly crushing … Continue reading Psycho Goreman (2021)
Made-for-TV misadventures, is there anything grander? Don't answer that, we both know there isn't. Legion is another made-for-tv movie, a 1998 science fiction horror picture that borrows more than a little from the likes of Aliens, Predator, and The Dirty Dozen. It's a story of prisoner soldiers in wartime turning on each other to confront … Continue reading Legion (1998)
This is the kind of movie where the title is said in the first ten minutes. If that doesn't tell you what you're getting into, you're about to get an education...the hard way. I'm sorry, that was bad. I apologize. While on a mission in Romania, John Payne's brother gets killed. Payne (played by Michael … Continue reading The Hard Way (2019)
Always remember, no matter how tough life can be, there isn't any kind of problem, big or small, that can't be helped by sending in a CIA hit team to kidnap someone's kid. Seriously, I use them to handle my grocery shopping. Major Vic Davis is a special forces super soldier and not the best … Continue reading The 2nd (2020)
It really can't be a good sign if the movie poster has to reference a much better film to try and drum up an audience. No, this film has absolutely nothing to do with The Last House on the Left. In fact, the only real connection is being distributed by American International Pictures, and while … Continue reading Don’t Look in the Basement (1973)
I was never in a band growing up, but if I had been, I probably wouldn't have found a weird monster to drive me around in a van. But if I had, I definitely would have written a song about it. Uncle Peckerhead is the tale of one such band, joyfully named Duh, that does … Continue reading Uncle Peckerhead (2020)
In the future, we'll still have carrots, tanks will be able to talk to us about baseball, and humanity will have collectively run out of good ideas for element names. Gunhed is a weird, messy movie, but it's one I highly enjoyed for all its quirks and bizarre problems. I should give some personal background … Continue reading Gunhed (1989)
