I don't watch much in the way of romance movies. It's one of those genres I have a major blindspot for, like teen movies or dance movies not about break dancers in the 1980s. Hell, I've seen more episodes of Manimal than I have some of these genres, and there's only eight of those. Why … Continue reading Harold and Maude (1971)
I can confirm that Tom Selleck's mustache is great no matter the year, no matter the genre. You can practically feel the machismo oozing off of his upper lip's grizzled fur baby. If you learn nothing else today, know that your face will never look as cool as his befollicled nasal undercarriage. And for that, … Continue reading Runaway (1984)
I watch a surprising amount of prison movies. It's not that I have any special affinity towards prison, but the setting makes for an easy method to tell tales of violence, drama, and survival against harsh odds often imposed by other people. Prison makes for an exploitative arena, though the films that focus on it, … Continue reading Scum (1979)
No, this is not a movie adaptation of History Channel's Ice Road Truckers series, though it is about as realistic. Twenty-six miners end up trapped in a Manitoba diamond mine after a methane pocket explodes. With the miners running out of air, local companies and the Canadian government attempt to send in three wellheads to … Continue reading The Ice Road (2021)
Ah yes, Tenet, the movie Christopher Nolan felt would be best in theaters packed full of plague lungs. Love it, hate it, but never forget: you'll leave with your memories, possibly a headache, and even a potential hospital visit. Thanks, Chris. Despite the back and forth debacle over worldwide release dates, it's still a big … Continue reading Tenet (2020)
Do you like tournament movies, the kind with a bunch of fighters from around the world taking on one another with different styles until only the last fighter remains? You know, like Bloodsport? Then you might end up enjoying this goofy period piece written by, starring, and directed by Jean-Claude Van Damme. An old man … Continue reading The Quest (1996)
Australian stuntmen engage in covert missions, perform death-defying stunts, and drink and shag women whose names they don't remember! Huh, the “stuntmen” part of that sentence seems redundant. Steve Hall and Rodney Cann are a couple of stuntmen working in the Australian film and TV industry in the 1970s. The two are undeniable thrill seekers, … Continue reading Deathcheaters (1976)
It's a 1980s movie with 1980s music set in 1950s style in which a surprisingly liberal army recruits women, the cops openly ask for bribes, and racism is still a thing. Also...leather overalls are a thing. This is what director Walter Hill dreamed about as a kid. He must have had an interesting childhood. Fantastic … Continue reading Streets of Fire (1984)
If you're hoping to actually see dinosaurs in this movie, then I have to apologize now. Dinosaur tracks? Yes. Dinosaur bones? Sure. But actual dinosaurs? God no. A paleontologist, his attractive daughter, and an American adventure seeker/archaeologist/two-fisted tough guy decide to make an illegal flight to the dinosaur valley, a protected area of the Amazon … Continue reading Massacre in Dinosaur Valley (1985)
Sometimes a wrong number can change your life. God help you when it does. Harry Washello is a nerdy trombone player in a big band that travels around the US. While doing a stopover for a show in Los Angeles, California, he meets the woman of his dreams: Julie Peters, a somewhat nerdy, spunky, intelligent … Continue reading Miracle Mile (1988)
