This is the 1988 film with Linda Blair, not the 2009 Japanese torture-porn splatter flick, you sickos. Though admittedly this movie is so bizarre that a straight forward splatter flick would actually be rather refreshing. Linda Blair and her friend head up to the mountains to visit Blair's parents and to help her friend get … Continue reading Grotesque (1988)
Westerns don't get a lot of love these days, and weird westerns, which combine elements of fantasy, science fiction, or horror with the western setting, have almost always been a rare thing in cinema. That's not to say they don't exist, just that there are relatively few of them. Even fewer are worth watching. If … Continue reading Bone Tomahawk (2015)
New York City, 1980s. Crime runs rampant. It's up to one man, a cop-on-the-edge, to... wait, is that Leslie Nielsen? Robert Vaughn? John Vernon? Holy crap, this movie is more Canadian than a syrup-covered fistfight at a Maple Leafs game, with extra poutine. Bruce Fairbairn plays Calhoun, a tough cop in a tough city that … Continue reading Nightstick (1987)
I so wanted this to be a Finnish attempt at Red Dawn. Just think, a bunch of American guerillas taking on the entire USSR, all on the snowy border with Russia. Sadly, we can't always get what we want, so instead of Red Dawn, this is a prison movie. A prison movie staring Chuck Norris' … Continue reading Born American (1986)
I don't know why, but this movie really makes me hungry for some vermicelli. I wonder why that is... It's the closing days of World War I. The Germans have mostly pulled out of the Argonne Forest as American and French forces wage the Meuse-Argonne Offensive. With the hasty German withdrawal, British intelligence discovers an … Continue reading Trench 11 (2017)
In the future, Earth sucks, so humans grow food throughout the solar system. Somehow, Kirk Douglas and Farrah Fawcett have ended up a couple working on one of these hydroponics stations on Saturn's third moon, and Harvey Keitel is a crazy astronaut who effectively works as a delivery guy and installation tech. He's basically the … Continue reading Saturn 3 (1980)
Some movies ooze style over substance. This movie is practically gushing with it. It's the perfect representation of what was being done in 1970s horror: violent, shocking, twisted, nightmarish. It's also an incoherent mess, but that isn't exactly unusual for 1970s horror either. Lots of horror of this decade works more as a dreamscape, particularly … Continue reading Messiah of Evil (1973)
