Deathstalker is basically if you imagined the Conan the Barbarian movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger through the prism of the Gor universe, only with worse editing. It consists of two things: fights and rapes. Also there is some magic thrown in there and a decent ogre outfit, but I don't want to distract from this movie … Continue reading Deathstalker (1983)
This is also known as Clive Barker's Lord of Illusions, because Clive Barker likes making sure his name is on things. Good old Clive Barker. He gave us Hellraiser, Nightbreed, Candyman, and a whole bunch of other movies not really worth remembering compared to all of his writing, video games, art, action figure line...I think … Continue reading Lord of Illusions (1995)
Ok, 1982 happens. Conan the Barbarian comes out, and to everyone's amazement, it's a hit. Folks immediately move to cash in, and bam, the Sword and Sorcery fantasy subgenre moves into the exploitation sphere that had been inhabited by the likes of Italian Sword and Sandal movies two decades before. Sorceress sounds like something a … Continue reading Sorceress (1982)
Does that poster look cool to you? Well too bad, the movie's nothing like that. I decided recently that I've been watching too many good movies, so I thought it would be best to watch something completely abhorrent, and man, did I succeed. Did I ever. Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders is ostensibly a children's … Continue reading Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996)
Movie Reviews by a Mook 