In the future, we'll still have carrots, tanks will be able to talk to us about baseball, and humanity will have collectively run out of good ideas for element names. Gunhed is a weird, messy movie, but it's one I highly enjoyed for all its quirks and bizarre problems. I should give some personal background … Continue reading Gunhed (1989)
In the future, Earth sucks, so humans grow food throughout the solar system. Somehow, Kirk Douglas and Farrah Fawcett have ended up a couple working on one of these hydroponics stations on Saturn's third moon, and Harvey Keitel is a crazy astronaut who effectively works as a delivery guy and installation tech. He's basically the … Continue reading Saturn 3 (1980)
As a general rule, I'm not into found footage films. It's not that The Blair Witch Project hurt me as a child, or that Cannibal Holocaust murdered my cat or anything; when done well, it can prove to be a fascinating means of presenting a story in a unique way. Unfortunately, in both of those … Continue reading Frankenstein’s Army (2013)
Serious question: why does the super-powerful Mandroid need breathing tubes? It doesn't breathe. What is the point of those tubes? Eastern Europe, 1993. The Cold War has ended, and tons of technology and military hardware is now up for grabs to the highest bidder. Dr. Karl Zimmer happens to be a scientist with a new … Continue reading Mandroid (1993)
In the distant future of 1999, street gangs have carved out free fire zones that cops will not enter around schools in major cities. These gangs, armed with automatic weapons and explosives, act as their own form of law in these lawless territories, where they murder, rape, pillage, abuse drugs, and do whatever else they … Continue reading Class of 1999 (1990)
You know what I like? Horror movies with capable protagonists. That is what I love about Chopping Mall. Eight teenagers get trapped in the mall with a trio of killer security robots. What do they do? They stock up on firearms, use propane tanks to improvise booby traps, and turn gasoline containers into makeshift firebombs. … Continue reading Chopping Mall (1986)
Don "The Dragon" Wilson is a secret service agent in a future world where a corrupt CEO has successfully implemented robots into the Department of Justice, completely circumventing the need for the judicial system. Unfortunately for Don, the senator he is protecting is completely corrupt and backs the Cybercore corporation to the point he is … Continue reading Cyber Tracker (1994)
I was on the edge of my seat! Until I scooted back, because that was definitely a potential hazard. Maintain a safe living environment folks, otherwise that's how accidents happen in the workplace or home. Anyway, Cy Warrior is about a robot super soldier who gets accidentally activated during a poker game and escapes from … Continue reading Cy Warrior (1989)
There is cyberpunk film, and then there is Japanese cyberpunk film. While cyberpunk is a subgenre of science fiction film, Japanese cyberpunk borrows many of the themes of cyberpunk but ventures into extremity and generally eschews or defies traditional narrative interpretation. Blade Runner is just as much an influence as the likes of Videodrome and … Continue reading Death Powder (1986)
I have to get something off my chest: I HATE THIS MOVIE! Like A*P*E, this movie was a failure on every level. But this movie didn't even have the good grace to show me a man in a monkey suit giving me the finger. Everything about this film is bad: the acting, the narrating, the … Continue reading R.O.T.O.R. (1987)
