Blue collar space movies are always a delight. Often times they're full of working class Joes who are highly skilled at what they do but are not always the brightest when it comes to whatever terrible situation they find themselves getting into. Alien is the high mark, but the misfits of Dark Star, the non-astronauts … Continue reading Space Truckers (1996)
That image makes this movie feel way more Slavic than it actually is. Robots in movies! We all love robots in movies. There's nothing quite like the near-constant whine of robotic joints and servos every single time one moves that makes us cringe and take icepicks to our ears. Seriously, whoever thought this was a … Continue reading Omega Doom (1996)
I can confirm that Tom Selleck's mustache is great no matter the year, no matter the genre. You can practically feel the machismo oozing off of his upper lip's grizzled fur baby. If you learn nothing else today, know that your face will never look as cool as his befollicled nasal undercarriage. And for that, … Continue reading Runaway (1984)
In the future, we'll still have carrots, tanks will be able to talk to us about baseball, and humanity will have collectively run out of good ideas for element names. Gunhed is a weird, messy movie, but it's one I highly enjoyed for all its quirks and bizarre problems. I should give some personal background … Continue reading Gunhed (1989)
In the future, Earth sucks, so humans grow food throughout the solar system. Somehow, Kirk Douglas and Farrah Fawcett have ended up a couple working on one of these hydroponics stations on Saturn's third moon, and Harvey Keitel is a crazy astronaut who effectively works as a delivery guy and installation tech. He's basically the … Continue reading Saturn 3 (1980)
As a general rule, I'm not into found footage films. It's not that The Blair Witch Project hurt me as a child, or that Cannibal Holocaust murdered my cat or anything; when done well, it can prove to be a fascinating means of presenting a story in a unique way. Unfortunately, in both of those … Continue reading Frankenstein’s Army (2013)
Serious question: why does the super-powerful Mandroid need breathing tubes? It doesn't breathe. What is the point of those tubes? Eastern Europe, 1993. The Cold War has ended, and tons of technology and military hardware is now up for grabs to the highest bidder. Dr. Karl Zimmer happens to be a scientist with a new … Continue reading Mandroid (1993)
In the distant future of 1999, street gangs have carved out free fire zones that cops will not enter around schools in major cities. These gangs, armed with automatic weapons and explosives, act as their own form of law in these lawless territories, where they murder, rape, pillage, abuse drugs, and do whatever else they … Continue reading Class of 1999 (1990)
You know what I like? Horror movies with capable protagonists. That is what I love about Chopping Mall. Eight teenagers get trapped in the mall with a trio of killer security robots. What do they do? They stock up on firearms, use propane tanks to improvise booby traps, and turn gasoline containers into makeshift firebombs. … Continue reading Chopping Mall (1986)
Don "The Dragon" Wilson is a secret service agent in a future world where a corrupt CEO has successfully implemented robots into the Department of Justice, completely circumventing the need for the judicial system. Unfortunately for Don, the senator he is protecting is completely corrupt and backs the Cybercore corporation to the point he is … Continue reading Cyber Tracker (1994)
