Man, look at that poster art. It's like if you mixed the poster for Star Trek V: The Final Frontier with Masters of the Universe. That's got to be good, right? Oh, who am I kidding? The answer is most definitely no. Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe is not a good movie, but it is … Continue reading Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990)
Man, fish-men love the ladies. Have you ever wanted to see a bunch of aquatic horrors gore and claw men to death and then forcibly strip and sexually assault women? If so, you should think about talking to someone, but that's what this movie is about, so I've got something for you! Basically a small … Continue reading Humanoids from the Deep (1980)
Ever wonder what a sword-and-sandal reboot of Black Mama White Mama would look like if it were a pseudo-sequel to Spartacus? No? Well, too bad, because now we're gonna talk about The Arena, a film where Americans and Italians show an incredibly attractive black woman from Africa and an incredibly attractive white woman from France … Continue reading The Arena (1974)
It's the 1970s. The American urban sprawl is a crime-filled wasteland of drugs and violence. Gangs openly walk the streets, hunting for victims in the parks, on the subway, and even in the grocery store. What's a guy to do? Why, get a gun and go to town, of course. Death Wish is a weird … Continue reading Death Wish (1974)
It surprises me that for all the classic horror that Hammer Films produced in the late 1950s, it wasn't until the sequels to their versions of Frankenstein and Dracula were out before they turned to the tale of the werewolf in 1961. It's a classical take with a werewolf clearly pulling from the Lon Chaney … Continue reading The Curse of the Werewolf (1961)
Oh man, it's a werewolf with a 'tude! ...yeah, I'm sorry, I won't say anything like that again. That was just bad. Anyway, Big Bad Wolf is a werewolf movie, if you couldn't tell. A bunch of young college students head out to a cabin. We've got your stereotypical Frat Brother #267 and Frat Brother … Continue reading Big Bad Wolf (2006)
Another misleading movie poster. There's like one car in this movie, and it doesn't have a roof...or much of anything, really. But that one guy does shoot his gun over his forearm, so I suppose it's only half wrong. The Bronx Executioner is another Italian post-apocalyptic Mad Max/Escape from New York wannabe, only this time … Continue reading The Bronx Executioner (1989)
