So much about this movie is gloriously painful. So, so much. First and foremost, the acting is awful. The script was written by a man who had never written one before, and he apparently spent long nights each night revising it. As a result, vital scenes are missing and were likely never filmed. Dialogue often … Continue reading No Retreat, No Surrender (1986)
That poster makes no sense. None of that is in this movie. Three students of the Ninja Empire have stolen the three pieces of a golden statue which provide invincibility to whoever controls it. Now the Ninja Empire is after them, but the three students have their own men at play who fight each other … Continue reading Ninja Terminator (1985)
Don "The Dragon" Wilson is a secret service agent in a future world where a corrupt CEO has successfully implemented robots into the Department of Justice, completely circumventing the need for the judicial system. Unfortunately for Don, the senator he is protecting is completely corrupt and backs the Cybercore corporation to the point he is … Continue reading Cyber Tracker (1994)
Finally, after years of searching, I have found the ultimate bad action movie. Immortal Combat is the greatest thing I have ever seen. First, it stars Rowdy Roddy Piper and Sonny Chiba. As cops. Who must take down an evil corporation manufacturing immortal fighters. Who used to be serial killers and spend most of their … Continue reading Immortal Combat (1994)
Deep in the Philippines, "rebels" are ambushing US Army trucks to steal the goods. But these rebels are really ninjas, a league of silent assassins under the employ of a man who wishes he was Ricardo Montalban and sells the stolen weapons to the highest bidder, all with the help of a corrupt army colonel … Continue reading American Ninja (1985)
Many years ago, around 1971, there was a 17 year old boy who was excellent at kung fu and had a brilliant acting and stunt career ahead of him. His name? Well, we'll just call him Jackie. Now he had appeared in a few films as a child actor already in the 1960s, but in … Continue reading Master with Cracked Fingers (1979)
It is the future. MMA continues to dominate as a spectator sport, and the current champion is Chance O'Brien, an all natural human in a field full of cyborgs, in a sport where competitors can be up to 20% cybernetic. But the Siano company wants to win big in the cybernetics industry, so they hire … Continue reading Heatseeker (1995)
