Yet another made-for-TV Sci Fi Channel original movie. With terrible scripts, low rent CG, and low budgets consisting of pocket change and a used gum wrapper, these movies are perhaps more famous for being rip offs of better movie than they are for the list of B-list, C-list, and God only knows what-list levels of … Continue reading Sabretooth (2002)
In the post-apocalyptic future, zombies roam the Earth, Japanese women are either scantily clad bad asses or barely able to function with seemingly no in-between state, and there is still plenty of blond hair dye to keep your style sense fresh. All because a corporate scientist really wanted to play God. Thanks, science! Aya is … Continue reading OneChanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers (2008)
I watch a lot of movies with outrageous posters, but that is actually Nicole Eggert's costume in the film, down to the cowcatcher face mask she sports when kicking butt. Why does she wear a train grill as a mouth guard? I have no idea. It's explained to be some kind of two-way radio, but … Continue reading The Demolitionist (1995)
Yet another example of an awesome movie poster (if not also totally ridiculous) that doesn't actually represent what the movie is about in any way...well, outside of that costume. She really does wear that, except for whatever the weird armor shoulder pad and fur cape is. Also, there are no futuristic guns in this, folks … Continue reading Battle Queen 2020 (2001)
I don't know why, but this movie really makes me hungry for some vermicelli. I wonder why that is... It's the closing days of World War I. The Germans have mostly pulled out of the Argonne Forest as American and French forces wage the Meuse-Argonne Offensive. With the hasty German withdrawal, British intelligence discovers an … Continue reading Trench 11 (2017)
As a general rule, I'm not into found footage films. It's not that The Blair Witch Project hurt me as a child, or that Cannibal Holocaust murdered my cat or anything; when done well, it can prove to be a fascinating means of presenting a story in a unique way. Unfortunately, in both of those … Continue reading Frankenstein’s Army (2013)
It surprises me both in what that movie poster gets wrong about this film as well as what it gets right. The creature does kind of look that way, except half his face is mangled. The dude in the foreground attacking a lady doesn't happen. And Joseph Cotton's name is on there, which is fantastic. … Continue reading Lady Frankenstein (1971)
That poster is needlessly exploitative and also wholly wrong about what this movie is about. It's not about the "Panther Woman" destroying men but instead about the horrors of science run amok at the hands of unethical scientists. So, you know, not something we needed to be advertising in Germany in the 1930s... Island of … Continue reading Island of Lost Souls (1932)
This is the last of Lucio Fulci's Gates of Hell trilogy for me. They're gory flicks, with bad dubs, plots both incomprehensible and lost in translation, and story elements combed directly from classic American horror literature and film ranging from Shelley to Lovecraft, with a bit of Kubrick thrown in for good measure, all wrapped up in … Continue reading The House by the Cemetery (1981)
Man, 1960 was quite the year for horror cinema. In England, you had Peeping Tom and Village of the Damned. In America, Psycho (as well as a personal favorite, House of Usher). In Italy, Black Sunday. In Japan, Jigoku. In France, Eyes Without a Face. Yes, Eyes Without a Face deserves to be here with … Continue reading Eyes Without a Face (1960)
