While watching Ghoulies IV, I had a mental breakthrough: I believe I hate myself. Ghoulies IV is not a good movie. It's not even a good Ghoulies movie, and that's an incredibly low bar. The budget on this was so tiny, they couldn't even afford to bring back the Ghoulies puppets from previous films; the … Continue reading Ghoulies IV (1994)
In the early 1990s, Penthouse Playmates appeared in a lot of cheesy action and horror movies. This is one of those movies. The plot involves a college dean using astral projection powers given to him by Satan via a telephone horoscope line to prey on busty coeds and seek revenge on the people who have … Continue reading 976-EVIL II (1992)
If you're wondering if this movie is as bad as that poster makes it seem...yes. Yes, it is. In the 1980s, an evil cult run by an immortal Satanist seeks a magic jewel that contains immense power from an undreamed of age. They also like to hold private parties for teams of buxom women to … Continue reading The Lost Empire (1984)
You know what I like? Horror movies with capable protagonists. That is what I love about Chopping Mall. Eight teenagers get trapped in the mall with a trio of killer security robots. What do they do? They stock up on firearms, use propane tanks to improvise booby traps, and turn gasoline containers into makeshift firebombs. … Continue reading Chopping Mall (1986)
You know how earlier I posted my thoughts on Sorority House Massacre being surprisingly unexploitative, with limited nudity, sexuality, and excessive violence, intelligent characters whose behavior was understandable, and a plot that was heavily inspired by the greats of its genre? Sorority House Massacre II goes entirely in the opposite direction. But then what should … Continue reading Sorority House Massacre II (1990)
Movie Reviews by a Mook 