No, Lon Chaney Jr. was not in this movie. I know that's his kind of makeup in that terrible poster, but the actual werewolf is pretty much just a guy with a beard and black paint on his nose. Yeah, it's gonna be one of those kinds of movies. Two farmers discover the mauled body … Continue reading Moon of the Wolf (1972)
Did you know that in the world of genres, subgenres, and microgenres, Lesbian Vampire is a specific designation? In fact, it covers an interesting mix of film, novels, and even stage productions that range from humor to exploitation to dramatic portrayals of LGBT+ alienation. It's got pedigree in vampire literature too, both in the 1872 … Continue reading Vampyres (1974)
Yeah, we're going with another Weird Western, this time a fusion of horror and cowboy cinema which points out the terrifying trouble with western expansion, not just in terms of the racism but also the after effects of the ecological devastation that mass migration into unclaimed wilderness can bring. Also, there are monsters that puke. … Continue reading The Burrowers (2008)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. This movie is still in theaters. Do you feel comfortable with me talking about a movie that you could go see on the big screen right now? Because too bad, I'm doing it. Young couple Kyle and Tori Breyer have trouble conceiving in 2006, when all of a sudden, a … Continue reading Brightburn (2019)
That poster is surprisingly accurate. This movie isn't fun at all. Though there aren't any heads in bags. That would have made a much better film. As for this one, it's a slasher film that doesn't slash. The movie begins with Joan O'Keefe letting two orderlies ambush her husband, Malcolm, so they can take him … Continue reading Trick or Treats (1982)
Let's take a minute to go in a totally different direction, to Japan, so we can focus on a "vampire" movie that doesn't really feature vampires at all. Yet it's still so well done that it wouldn't have been out of place in the midst of Hammer's gothic horror work of the 1960s. Even if … Continue reading The Vampire Doll (1970)
There are at least two battle axes in this movie, but neither of them are ever used to kill anyone. This greatly annoys me. Laura Ramstead, an athletic star and graduating member of the track team at Midvale High, runs a race and then collapses and immediately dies as the crowd, her coach, and her … Continue reading Graduation Day (1981)
As in this girl has special powers due to how she came to be, not that she's giving out presents or anything. Though admittedly, it would be kinda nice to get a present right now. I mean, who doesn't love free stuff? In the very near future, the world sucks. Athlete's Foot has basically evolved … Continue reading The Girl with All the Gifts (2016)
This was supposed to be a porno, but somewhere along the way, the director decided it should become a straight up horror movie. Yet the scariest thing about it is that the 1970s were full of bad taste. I'd rather it had stayed porn. A cult worshiping a doctor who might somehow be related to … Continue reading Legacy of Satan (1974)
If you own a failing farm, and you find a secret room in your barn with a scarecrow stuffed away inside, and your kid then claims it's evil, do you put it up? Fuck no! You burn that bitch to the ground, salt the freaking earth, and move to the next God damn county, because … Continue reading Messengers 2: The Scarecrow (2009)
