If you're hoping to actually see dinosaurs in this movie, then I have to apologize now. Dinosaur tracks? Yes. Dinosaur bones? Sure. But actual dinosaurs? God no. A paleontologist, his attractive daughter, and an American adventure seeker/archaeologist/two-fisted tough guy decide to make an illegal flight to the dinosaur valley, a protected area of the Amazon … Continue reading Massacre in Dinosaur Valley (1985)
The Corpse Eaters as a title has a double meaning: eating corpses and corpses that eat. Clever, Canada. The film begins with a flash forward to a funeral home, where the greedy love child of an alternate universe George Romero and Angus Scrimm accepts a late night body to be prepped for burial. He drives … Continue reading The Corpse Eaters (1974)
In the post-apocalyptic future, zombies roam the Earth, Japanese women are either scantily clad bad asses or barely able to function with seemingly no in-between state, and there is still plenty of blond hair dye to keep your style sense fresh. All because a corporate scientist really wanted to play God. Thanks, science! Aya is … Continue reading OneChanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers (2008)
Alien parasitic plagues in a grocery store? Why that could never happen in America! Except for, you know, COVID and all that. You know what, suddenly this movie is feeling like it thinks we're smarter than we are... In a small town in the middle of nowhere, a team of heavily armed criminals arrive at … Continue reading Alien Raiders (2008)
I really have to hand it to the artist, that movie poster is so much better than the actual film. I mean, I think I can finger a detail or two in there which isn't in the film itself, but with so much going on, I bet you can put your thumb on it too. … Continue reading Demonoid (1981)
Ever wonder what twisted thoughts lurk in the darkest corners of Canada? If you figured it included Saturday morning Sentai shows, troubling family dynamics, and aliens potentially questioning their sexuality, then you know a lot more about Canada than I do. And you'd also somehow be right, which just makes this weirder. After deftly crushing … Continue reading Psycho Goreman (2021)
Made-for-TV misadventures, is there anything grander? Don't answer that, we both know there isn't. Legion is another made-for-tv movie, a 1998 science fiction horror picture that borrows more than a little from the likes of Aliens, Predator, and The Dirty Dozen. It's a story of prisoner soldiers in wartime turning on each other to confront … Continue reading Legion (1998)
It really can't be a good sign if the movie poster has to reference a much better film to try and drum up an audience. No, this film has absolutely nothing to do with The Last House on the Left. In fact, the only real connection is being distributed by American International Pictures, and while … Continue reading Don’t Look in the Basement (1973)
I was never in a band growing up, but if I had been, I probably wouldn't have found a weird monster to drive me around in a van. But if I had, I definitely would have written a song about it. Uncle Peckerhead is the tale of one such band, joyfully named Duh, that does … Continue reading Uncle Peckerhead (2020)
For some reason I spent years getting this movie confused with Lake Placid, so I kept wondering when the killer alligator would show up. No such luck, this is a ghost story, through and through. Lake Mungo is a mockumentary, though I have some trouble with that term. The term 'mockumentary' has always made me think of … Continue reading Lake Mungo (2008)
