That image makes this movie feel way more Slavic than it actually is. Robots in movies! We all love robots in movies. There's nothing quite like the near-constant whine of robotic joints and servos every single time one moves that makes us cringe and take icepicks to our ears. Seriously, whoever thought this was a … Continue reading Omega Doom (1996)
1980s America. What a fantastic place it was, where any white kid could get a gun and try to solve the world's problems. Red Dawn, Born American, Savage Streets...the kids end up highly armed and, well, often times dead. Wasn't it grand? Enter The Zero Boys. Steve, Larry, and Rip are a paintball team known … Continue reading The Zero Boys (1986)
I can confirm that Tom Selleck's mustache is great no matter the year, no matter the genre. You can practically feel the machismo oozing off of his upper lip's grizzled fur baby. If you learn nothing else today, know that your face will never look as cool as his befollicled nasal undercarriage. And for that, … Continue reading Runaway (1984)
I watch a lot of movies with outrageous posters, but that is actually Nicole Eggert's costume in the film, down to the cowcatcher face mask she sports when kicking butt. Why does she wear a train grill as a mouth guard? I have no idea. It's explained to be some kind of two-way radio, but … Continue reading The Demolitionist (1995)
A tower. A ridiculously massive sniper rifle. A couple of folks with a history who dislike and yet obviously lust after each other. A couple of unusual security guards. A stoic Dolph Lundgren. Silent Trigger is the kind of borderline action thriller that is cheap, occasionally sleazy, and somehow tries to be philosophical and end … Continue reading Silent Trigger (1996)
Yeah, that's right, I followed Dead Weekend with another weekend movie, Long Weekend, and I did it in the middle of the week. I'm edgy, woo. I'll see myself out. Long Weekend is a 1978 Australian horror film about a couple in a failing marriage on a camping trip to the beach, where they pollute, … Continue reading Long Weekend (1978)
Once again, a movie poster that conveys way more action than is actually in this movie. Bloody Wednesday is ostensibly based on the San Ysidro McDonald's massacre in 1984, in which a man named James Huberty opened fire in a McDonald's for 77 minutes, killing 21 people and injuring 19 more before being killed by … Continue reading Bloody Wednesday (1988)
I love ridiculous movie poster guns, but that one is actually pretty accurate to the gun in this movie. Richard Norton and the jaw-dropping Corinne Wahl(now Alphen) star in this post-apocalyptic Mad Max 2-knock off set in the desert wasteland of Alaska in the future. Much of Alaska is ruled by the evil fascist group … Continue reading Equalizer 2000 (1987)
