Cool poster. Terrible movie. First off, I don't think the main character actually ends up called Gunan. Instead, it sounds like everyone is talking about his name being Zukahn or Zhukan or something beginning with a 'Z'. Second, he doesn't end up the king of anything. He kills a guy that's a warlord, but there … Continue reading Gunan, King of the Barbarians (1982)
Deathstalker is basically if you imagined the Conan the Barbarian movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger through the prism of the Gor universe, only with worse editing. It consists of two things: fights and rapes. Also there is some magic thrown in there and a decent ogre outfit, but I don't want to distract from this movie … Continue reading Deathstalker (1983)
Yes, that's a Japanese movie poster. But this is a North Korean movie. Pulgasari is getting more and more attention as the years go by. Instead of it just being me ranting about it to whoever the heck will listen, even John Oliver is referencing it in his weekly monologues on HBO. Hell, the movie … Continue reading Pulgasari (1985)
Ok, 1982 happens. Conan the Barbarian comes out, and to everyone's amazement, it's a hit. Folks immediately move to cash in, and bam, the Sword and Sorcery fantasy subgenre moves into the exploitation sphere that had been inhabited by the likes of Italian Sword and Sandal movies two decades before. Sorceress sounds like something a … Continue reading Sorceress (1982)
Does that poster look cool to you? Well too bad, the movie's nothing like that. I decided recently that I've been watching too many good movies, so I thought it would be best to watch something completely abhorrent, and man, did I succeed. Did I ever. Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders is ostensibly a children's … Continue reading Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996)
Cultural tastes and etiquette definitely transform over time. While this has been a sticking point in literature for years (Adventures of Huckleberry Finn certainly comes to mind), it also holds particularly true for film. Unfortunately for 7 Faces of Dr. Lao, this is one of those movies that used a device once a cultural norm … Continue reading 7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964)
Yet another poster that doesn't make sense. Why are cities crumbling? Why does Richard Hatch have a machine gun? Why is it exploding? Apollo from Battlestar Galactica is a handyman who ends up caught up with the lady who voiced American Maid in the 1990s The Tick cartoon as they are accidentally teleported to an … Continue reading Prisoners of the Lost Universe (1983)
Movie Reviews by a Mook 