Let's take a minute to go in a totally different direction, to Japan, so we can focus on a "vampire" movie that doesn't really feature vampires at all. Yet it's still so well done that it wouldn't have been out of place in the midst of Hammer's gothic horror work of the 1960s. Even if … Continue reading The Vampire Doll (1970)
If you own a failing farm, and you find a secret room in your barn with a scarecrow stuffed away inside, and your kid then claims it's evil, do you put it up? Fuck no! You burn that bitch to the ground, salt the freaking earth, and move to the next God damn county, because … Continue reading Messengers 2: The Scarecrow (2009)
Let me just read you a few names from the cast list: Michael Fassbender, Charlotte Gainsbourg, J. K. Simmons, Toby Jones, Chloë Sevigny, James D'Arcy, and Val Kilmer. Sure, some of these folks have made some questionable movies, but to put it mildly, it's amazing that they're all a part of this massive train wreck … Continue reading The Snowman (2017)
If you read the title and immediately asked whether there is a cat in this giallo, I'm happy to inform you that yes, there is indeed a cat. Often times gialli have animals referenced in their titles but don't actually use them; that's not the case here. There's a cat walking around, and guess how … Continue reading Seven Deaths in the Cat’s Eye (1973)
I am an enormous fan of the bizarre and gory films of Lucio Fulci. To say his work is twisted is to seriously underrate just how strange and avant garde his films could be. They are often incoherent, with a dreamlike haze that quickly turns into nightmares. Unfortunately, 1991's Voices from Beyond was one of … Continue reading Voices from Beyond (1991)
The most racist of Poltergeists. Also, that subtitle is nowhere near as good as House II: The Second Story. I'd seen the original Poltergeist and Poltergeist III years ago, so I figured now was a good time to go back and knock out the rest of the original trilogy. All I knew going into this … Continue reading Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)
Yes, talking about Troll 2 feels like a cop out, because it's become just so infamous at this point. If you haven't heard of it, I'm greatly surprised. Odds are most cult film fans are familiar with much of it, and even a layperson has encountered it at some point through Internet memes and coming … Continue reading Troll 2 (1990)
This is not how to treat your family. Ellie and Joyce Ballantyne are two old sisters living in rural England. Ellie seems to be on the simple minded side, possibly always childish but also possibly sliding into dementia. Joyce appears to be the primary caregiver and one who sets the rules. From time to time … Continue reading The Beast in the Cellar (1970)
Dora Baldini moves back into her home with her son and new husband after having spent several years in an institution, where she underwent electroshock therapy for a nervous breakdown related to her first husband's mysterious disappearance. The previous husband was an addict and a failure, and Dora tells her son that one day he … Continue reading Shock (1977)
I do like a good werewolf movie. Unfortunately despite the pedigree of Eric Red, writer of such greats as The Hitcher and Near Dark, this isn't a good werewolf movie. In this film, a journalist named Ted runs afoul of a giant wolf man while hanging out in Nepal, which murders his girlfriend and claws … Continue reading Bad Moon (1996)
