I love action movies with completely nonsensical, ridiculous plots that exist purely to put some completely miscast action star directly in the path of danger, possibly alongside an equally miscast comedian in a sidekick role. Lo and behold, here's exactly what I want in a film: Knock Off. Jean-Claude Van Damme is a member of … Continue reading Knock Off (1998)
Blue collar space movies are always a delight. Often times they're full of working class Joes who are highly skilled at what they do but are not always the brightest when it comes to whatever terrible situation they find themselves getting into. Alien is the high mark, but the misfits of Dark Star, the non-astronauts … Continue reading Space Truckers (1996)
No, this is not a movie adaptation of History Channel's Ice Road Truckers series, though it is about as realistic. Twenty-six miners end up trapped in a Manitoba diamond mine after a methane pocket explodes. With the miners running out of air, local companies and the Canadian government attempt to send in three wellheads to … Continue reading The Ice Road (2021)
Yeah, that title is unusual. Does it make you more or less interested in watching this late 1960s giallo? As awkward as it is, it does actually fit the plot. Italy, the late-1960s. Italians aren't eating enough chicken, so one clever agrarian who is a member of a consortium of the infamous chicken farming business … Continue reading Death Laid an Egg (1968)
Oh, oh man. You know when you find a movie so bizarre, so grotesque, that you just have to talk about it? Body Melt is that kind of movie. It's an Australian body horror splatter film from the early 1990s, and it reflects that in every possible way: the soundtrack is early '90s dance beats, … Continue reading Body Melt (1993)
Ok, so Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo are cops, right? As in buddy cops, right? As in partners. And they have to solve a string of jewelry heists where the robbers take way too many bullets to drop, right? Ok, yeah, and then during an investigation at a pharmaceuticals company, Treat Williams gets killed, ok? … Continue reading Dead Heat (1988)
Don "The Dragon" Wilson is a secret service agent in a future world where a corrupt CEO has successfully implemented robots into the Department of Justice, completely circumventing the need for the judicial system. Unfortunately for Don, the senator he is protecting is completely corrupt and backs the Cybercore corporation to the point he is … Continue reading Cyber Tracker (1994)
Escape from the Bronx is the sequel to 1990: The Bronx Warriors and once again stars Mark Gregory as a nearly mute gang member named Trash who struggles to make ends meet by selling ammunition to the cowering denizens of the Bronx while the General Construction Corporation's Disinfestor squads dress like Mercury-era astronauts and roam … Continue reading Escape from the Bronx (1983)
Finally, after years of searching, I have found the ultimate bad action movie. Immortal Combat is the greatest thing I have ever seen. First, it stars Rowdy Roddy Piper and Sonny Chiba. As cops. Who must take down an evil corporation manufacturing immortal fighters. Who used to be serial killers and spend most of their … Continue reading Immortal Combat (1994)
It is the future. MMA continues to dominate as a spectator sport, and the current champion is Chance O'Brien, an all natural human in a field full of cyborgs, in a sport where competitors can be up to 20% cybernetic. But the Siano company wants to win big in the cybernetics industry, so they hire … Continue reading Heatseeker (1995)
