Oh, oh man. You know when you find a movie so bizarre, so grotesque, that you just have to talk about it? Body Melt is that kind of movie. It's an Australian body horror splatter film from the early 1990s, and it reflects that in every possible way: the soundtrack is early '90s dance beats, … Continue reading Body Melt (1993)
Ok, so Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo are cops, right? As in buddy cops, right? As in partners. And they have to solve a string of jewelry heists where the robbers take way too many bullets to drop, right? Ok, yeah, and then during an investigation at a pharmaceuticals company, Treat Williams gets killed, ok? … Continue reading Dead Heat (1988)
Don "The Dragon" Wilson is a secret service agent in a future world where a corrupt CEO has successfully implemented robots into the Department of Justice, completely circumventing the need for the judicial system. Unfortunately for Don, the senator he is protecting is completely corrupt and backs the Cybercore corporation to the point he is … Continue reading Cyber Tracker (1994)
Escape from the Bronx is the sequel to 1990: The Bronx Warriors and once again stars Mark Gregory as a nearly mute gang member named Trash who struggles to make ends meet by selling ammunition to the cowering denizens of the Bronx while the General Construction Corporation's Disinfestor squads dress like Mercury-era astronauts and roam … Continue reading Escape from the Bronx (1983)
Finally, after years of searching, I have found the ultimate bad action movie. Immortal Combat is the greatest thing I have ever seen. First, it stars Rowdy Roddy Piper and Sonny Chiba. As cops. Who must take down an evil corporation manufacturing immortal fighters. Who used to be serial killers and spend most of their … Continue reading Immortal Combat (1994)
It is the future. MMA continues to dominate as a spectator sport, and the current champion is Chance O'Brien, an all natural human in a field full of cyborgs, in a sport where competitors can be up to 20% cybernetic. But the Siano company wants to win big in the cybernetics industry, so they hire … Continue reading Heatseeker (1995)
Yes, this ad is meant to make you think of The Terminator. No, this movie is nowhere near as good. In the future, rich people live on the moon and make video games, while on Earth the rest of us play death sports, evil corporations harvest our body parts at a rate of like 1 … Continue reading Futurekick (1991)
