Kevin Costner is in this movie as a main character, but he wasn't even listed in the credits. Seriously, he's completely left out. They remembered Ambulance Driver #1 but not him. Shadows Run Black is a "crime thriller" which is really just a slasher film that doesn't want to admit it's a slasher film. It's … Continue reading Shadows Run Black (1984)
While watching Ghoulies IV, I had a mental breakthrough: I believe I hate myself. Ghoulies IV is not a good movie. It's not even a good Ghoulies movie, and that's an incredibly low bar. The budget on this was so tiny, they couldn't even afford to bring back the Ghoulies puppets from previous films; the … Continue reading Ghoulies IV (1994)
It's the 1970s. The American urban sprawl is a crime-filled wasteland of drugs and violence. Gangs openly walk the streets, hunting for victims in the parks, on the subway, and even in the grocery store. What's a guy to do? Why, get a gun and go to town, of course. Death Wish is a weird … Continue reading Death Wish (1974)
Yeah, this is another of those movies with an alternate title, going from Aerobicide to Killer Workout. And oh man, this movie has more cheese than a deep dish pizza. People are getting killed in a gym by a murderer armed with a large safety pin. Det. Lt. Morgan, a tough mullet cop with a … Continue reading Killer Workout (1987)
The original The Exorcist is considered a classic of American horror cinema. Exorcist II: The Heretic movie was a bizarre acid trip involving psychics and locust plagues that just doesn't work. But The Exorcist III brings in George C. Scott as a homicide detective to investigate the possible ghost of a serial killer, and along … Continue reading The Exorcist III (1990)
Let me start this off by saying that I own 9 of the currently 13 Puppet Master movies. I have also never watched any of them. So of course I totally decided to hop in in the midst of the sewage that is any long-running horror franchise post-"final chapter" film. Can you think of a … Continue reading Curse of the Puppet Master (1998)
If you're wondering if this movie is as bad as that poster makes it seem...yes. Yes, it is. In the 1980s, an evil cult run by an immortal Satanist seeks a magic jewel that contains immense power from an undreamed of age. They also like to hold private parties for teams of buxom women to … Continue reading The Lost Empire (1984)
