We're back in made-for-tv land here, folks! However, this time it's not the likes of horror films like Killdozer or Gargoyles; instead, I'm bringing you into TV action movie territory with HBO's first film ever made for the small screen: The Park Is Mine. Starring a surprisingly talented cast and taking place in New York … Continue reading The Park Is Mine (1986)
It is the future. Solar flares have led to environmental catastrophe. A once proud America is now a mixture of totalitarian states, gang territories, and warlord fiefdoms. With everyone scrounging for the scraps, who are the few good people left to rely on? A woman with a bare face runs through darkened streets and alleys, … Continue reading Karate Cop (1991)
No, Lon Chaney Jr. was not in this movie. I know that's his kind of makeup in that terrible poster, but the actual werewolf is pretty much just a guy with a beard and black paint on his nose. Yeah, it's gonna be one of those kinds of movies. Two farmers discover the mauled body … Continue reading Moon of the Wolf (1972)
The title in this film comes from a line where a Japanese doctor says he cannot use a shotgun and will kill his enemies in "Japanese style," to which our overly-muscled hero with flowing locks replies while holding a pistol that he'll do his killing in "American style." Nice. Robert Z'Dar is a criminal named … Continue reading Killing American Style (1990)
Let's be honest. If you looked that good sitting on a motorcycle while wearing shades with a bunch of Japanese signs behind you, you'd probably pose like this too. Michael Douglas knows. Shoot, he's probably somewhere doing this right now. Damn right, he is. Nick Conklin is a New York City cop on the edge. … Continue reading Black Rain (1989)
Let me just read you a few names from the cast list: Michael Fassbender, Charlotte Gainsbourg, J. K. Simmons, Toby Jones, Chloë Sevigny, James D'Arcy, and Val Kilmer. Sure, some of these folks have made some questionable movies, but to put it mildly, it's amazing that they're all a part of this massive train wreck … Continue reading The Snowman (2017)
Westerns don't get a lot of love these days, and weird westerns, which combine elements of fantasy, science fiction, or horror with the western setting, have almost always been a rare thing in cinema. That's not to say they don't exist, just that there are relatively few of them. Even fewer are worth watching. If … Continue reading Bone Tomahawk (2015)
New York City, 1980s. Crime runs rampant. It's up to one man, a cop-on-the-edge, to... wait, is that Leslie Nielsen? Robert Vaughn? John Vernon? Holy crap, this movie is more Canadian than a syrup-covered fistfight at a Maple Leafs game, with extra poutine. Bruce Fairbairn plays Calhoun, a tough cop in a tough city that … Continue reading Nightstick (1987)
Yeah, we're talking a low budget 1950s indie film today. In short, it's our wheelhouse, baby! Livestock are being mutilated in a small town in the mountains of California. Unfortunately, a man has just been murdered, and the hard headed sheriff thinks geologist Wayne Brooks did the deed. Meanwhile archaeologist Dr. Frederick Cleveland has just … Continue reading Giant from the Unknown (1958)
Unlike The Exterminator, Part II, this movie does have a sequel. However, Octopus and Octopus 2: River of Fear are radically different in nearly every aspect save for the fact that they both have a giant killer octopus. Oh, and water, but I figured that was a given. Aquatic New York Police Department master diver … Continue reading Octopus 2: River of Fear (2001)
