Hey look, it's Rear Window meets Boggy Creek! Abominable is the story of Preston Rogers, a paraplegic confined to a wheelchair after a terrible climbing accident that killed his wife. You know, like in Cliffhanger or something. Maybe you shouldn't have tried climbing something called Suicide Rock, but what do I know? I'm not big … Continue reading Abominable (2006)
Before I begin, please understand that this was a made-for-TV movie. Sometimes those are gems, like Killdozer. Other times they can be laughably bad, like Gargoyles. Unfortunately, Larva sits somewhere in the middle, well within the realm of almost completely forgettable. In Larva, a new vet to the poorly named Host, Missouri, discovers a new … Continue reading Larva (2005)
It's Halloween, the most wonderful time of the year. A 9-year-old boy named Dougie who hasn't yet figured out his incest fetish is happily awaiting the arrival of his hot college coed sister. He's also addicted to a game made with what was at the time Macromedia Flash that involves a kid helping torture, maim, … Continue reading Satan’s Little Helper (2004)
Oh man, it's a werewolf with a 'tude! ...yeah, I'm sorry, I won't say anything like that again. That was just bad. Anyway, Big Bad Wolf is a werewolf movie, if you couldn't tell. A bunch of young college students head out to a cabin. We've got your stereotypical Frat Brother #267 and Frat Brother … Continue reading Big Bad Wolf (2006)
You may not have guessed this, but I enjoy a good body horror movie from time to time. Or a bad one, but I suppose that's neither here nor there. The important thing is that when Bite premiered at Fantasia Film Festival, barf bags were handed out. They got used, too. Apparently people don't like … Continue reading Bite (2015)
This is the Alien Resurrection of movies about giant spiders, only far worse. Jason and Alexandra are a married couple who end up shipwrecked in the ocean after finding a burned-out wreck of a sailboat. They get picked up by a cargo ship, only to discover that the ship is really a mobile aquatic laboratory … Continue reading Spiders II: Breeding Ground (2001)
