Sometimes a wrong number can change your life. God help you when it does. Harry Washello is a nerdy trombone player in a big band that travels around the US. While doing a stopover for a show in Los Angeles, California, he meets the woman of his dreams: Julie Peters, a somewhat nerdy, spunky, intelligent … Continue reading Miracle Mile (1988)
Every time I hear the title of this film, I think of Evil Dead. I just can't help myself. It immediately turns into a chorus of “Dead by dawn, dead by dawn!” And then it turns into a chorus of bloody violence. Though now having seen it, that's no longer Evil Dead violence. Oh no, … Continue reading Deadbeat at Dawn (1988)
This time, the movie poster definitely captures some of what happens, like vehicle explosions. For a mix of hixploitation and revenge cinema set in the woods, there are a surprising number of cars and trucks that get blown up. Yet there is only one rainstorm and no lightning, so I feel a little let down. … Continue reading Blastfighter (1984)
I really have to hand it to the artist, that movie poster is so much better than the actual film. I mean, I think I can finger a detail or two in there which isn't in the film itself, but with so much going on, I bet you can put your thumb on it too. … Continue reading Demonoid (1981)
In the future, we'll still have carrots, tanks will be able to talk to us about baseball, and humanity will have collectively run out of good ideas for element names. Gunhed is a weird, messy movie, but it's one I highly enjoyed for all its quirks and bizarre problems. I should give some personal background … Continue reading Gunhed (1989)
We're back in made-for-tv land here, folks! However, this time it's not the likes of horror films like Killdozer or Gargoyles; instead, I'm bringing you into TV action movie territory with HBO's first film ever made for the small screen: The Park Is Mine. Starring a surprisingly talented cast and taking place in New York … Continue reading The Park Is Mine (1986)
No, I don't know why Shredder and the Terminator are hanging out back there in that poster. I also don't know why the USA was stylized as a pseudo-swastika. And Contra has nothing to do with this. Yeah, it's another bad ninja movie...which means it's a great ninja movie. Ninjas attack rent-a-cops and steal a … Continue reading Sakura Killers (1987)
That poster is surprisingly accurate. This movie isn't fun at all. Though there aren't any heads in bags. That would have made a much better film. As for this one, it's a slasher film that doesn't slash. The movie begins with Joan O'Keefe letting two orderlies ambush her husband, Malcolm, so they can take him … Continue reading Trick or Treats (1982)
There are at least two battle axes in this movie, but neither of them are ever used to kill anyone. This greatly annoys me. Laura Ramstead, an athletic star and graduating member of the track team at Midvale High, runs a race and then collapses and immediately dies as the crowd, her coach, and her … Continue reading Graduation Day (1981)
Let's be honest. If you looked that good sitting on a motorcycle while wearing shades with a bunch of Japanese signs behind you, you'd probably pose like this too. Michael Douglas knows. Shoot, he's probably somewhere doing this right now. Damn right, he is. Nick Conklin is a New York City cop on the edge. … Continue reading Black Rain (1989)
