Italian horror movies from the 1980s were often a clusterfuck of what-the-fuck plot points and nightmare-inducing hallucinations. The Church is a perfect example; it's not gory the way many of its contemporaries are, but it's freaking bizarre. Scenes feel out of place, connections in time are tenuous, and good luck figuring out what is real … Continue reading The Church (1989)
This movie is about beautiful space vampires that suck the life out of you. In short, yes, it is about your ex. The story of Lifeforce involves a British space mission to study Halley's Comet but discovers an enormous spacecraft hiding in its tail. The astronauts investigate and discover long dead bat creatures and three … Continue reading Lifeforce (1985)
A college student named Billy Batson dies in a traffic accident. His uncle's ghost shows up to take him to Heaven, but he's way more preoccupied with getting laid, so he tries to go back to wooing the lady he couldn't make it with. Hijinks ensue. That's the movie, folks. It's over, go home. If … Continue reading School Spirit (1985)
Who doesn't love a Halloween party? They're even better when hosted in an abandoned funeral home built on forsaken ground and haunted by a demon in the crematorium. Don't believe me? Then you gotta watch this movie! Night of the Demons is about just such a party. Ten teenagers show up to party down and … Continue reading Night of the Demons (1988)
Women do, in fact, rule. Sometimes this movie is called Phoenix the Warrior. Either way, it's a post-apocalyptic film about dirty women in what amounts to fur bikinis and bondage gear getting into badly choreographed fights and gun battles over the only man alive. Because even in a world populated only by women, we still … Continue reading She-Wolves of the Wasteland (1988)
I love a good nunsploitation movie. There's something sexy about the corruption of the most pious, most likely in sexy ways. However, The Other Hell shows this corruption and implies sexuality without ever going into the openly graphic nature of much of its extreme subgenre. It's not a good movie; this is a Bruno Mattei … Continue reading The Other Hell (1981)
Man, fish-men love the ladies. Have you ever wanted to see a bunch of aquatic horrors gore and claw men to death and then forcibly strip and sexually assault women? If so, you should think about talking to someone, but that's what this movie is about, so I've got something for you! Basically a small … Continue reading Humanoids from the Deep (1980)
