No, I don't know why Shredder and the Terminator are hanging out back there in that poster. I also don't know why the USA was stylized as a pseudo-swastika. And Contra has nothing to do with this. Yeah, it's another bad ninja movie...which means it's a great ninja movie. Ninjas attack rent-a-cops and steal a … Continue reading Sakura Killers (1987)
No, Lon Chaney Jr. was not in this movie. I know that's his kind of makeup in that terrible poster, but the actual werewolf is pretty much just a guy with a beard and black paint on his nose. Yeah, it's gonna be one of those kinds of movies. Two farmers discover the mauled body … Continue reading Moon of the Wolf (1972)
The title in this film comes from a line where a Japanese doctor says he cannot use a shotgun and will kill his enemies in "Japanese style," to which our overly-muscled hero with flowing locks replies while holding a pistol that he'll do his killing in "American style." Nice. Robert Z'Dar is a criminal named … Continue reading Killing American Style (1990)
In 1969, America went to the moon. To top us, the British made a movie about aliens on the moon coming to us in 1967. I'm still thinking we got the better end of the bargain here, but I don't blame the UK for trying! Meteors fall in formation in a field in the English … Continue reading They Came from Beyond Space (1967)
Did you know that in the world of genres, subgenres, and microgenres, Lesbian Vampire is a specific designation? In fact, it covers an interesting mix of film, novels, and even stage productions that range from humor to exploitation to dramatic portrayals of LGBT+ alienation. It's got pedigree in vampire literature too, both in the 1872 … Continue reading Vampyres (1974)
Yeah, we're going with another Weird Western, this time a fusion of horror and cowboy cinema which points out the terrifying trouble with western expansion, not just in terms of the racism but also the after effects of the ecological devastation that mass migration into unclaimed wilderness can bring. Also, there are monsters that puke. … Continue reading The Burrowers (2008)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. This movie is still in theaters. Do you feel comfortable with me talking about a movie that you could go see on the big screen right now? Because too bad, I'm doing it. Young couple Kyle and Tori Breyer have trouble conceiving in 2006, when all of a sudden, a … Continue reading Brightburn (2019)
That poster is surprisingly accurate. This movie isn't fun at all. Though there aren't any heads in bags. That would have made a much better film. As for this one, it's a slasher film that doesn't slash. The movie begins with Joan O'Keefe letting two orderlies ambush her husband, Malcolm, so they can take him … Continue reading Trick or Treats (1982)
Yeah, a Spaghetti Western. I know how much you guys love Spaghetti Westerns, which is to say, not at all. Too bad, this one is worth watching. It's got cannibalism, rape, blood, and violence. It's also got Lucio Fulci's name there on the poster. You owe it to yourself to watch it now. Stubby Preston … Continue reading Four of the Apocalypse (1975)
Back to recently released, high-budget B-movies that somehow got the A-movie treatment. It's a film about giant robots fighting giant monsters. What could possibly go wrong? Ten years after the last major battle of the first Pacific Rim movie, Jake Pentacost makes his living robbing stuff from busted Jaegers, giant mechs with double names that … Continue reading Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018)
