Mel Brooks once told Jerry Seinfeld some years ago that he liked to eat dinner with Carl Reiner once a week and watch what he called “secure the perimeter movies,” meaning the kind of movies where at some point someone would utter the line “Secure the perimeter.” Two of the greatest comedic minds of all … Continue reading American Assassin (2017)
The Park Is Mine (1986)
We're back in made-for-tv land here, folks! However, this time it's not the likes of horror films like Killdozer or Gargoyles; instead, I'm bringing you into TV action movie territory with HBO's first film ever made for the small screen: The Park Is Mine. Starring a surprisingly talented cast and taking place in New York … Continue reading The Park Is Mine (1986)
Karate Cop (1991)
It is the future. Solar flares have led to environmental catastrophe. A once proud America is now a mixture of totalitarian states, gang territories, and warlord fiefdoms. With everyone scrounging for the scraps, who are the few good people left to rely on? A woman with a bare face runs through darkened streets and alleys, … Continue reading Karate Cop (1991)
Lake Mungo (2008)
For some reason I spent years getting this movie confused with Lake Placid, so I kept wondering when the killer alligator would show up. No such luck, this is a ghost story, through and through. Lake Mungo is a mockumentary, though I have some trouble with that term. The term 'mockumentary' has always made me think of … Continue reading Lake Mungo (2008)
Day of the Animals (1977)
This movie is not to be confused with the never released Grizzly II. It may seem strange that the two get compared, but Day of the Animals and Grizzly both featured much of the same crew, including the same director and producer, as well as both actors Christopher George and Richard Jaeckel. Only instead of fighting a single giant bear … Continue reading Day of the Animals (1977)
Cry of the Banshee (1970)
Let's get a few things straight right off the bat. There is no banshee; the title is only connected by a line a character mutters early on in response to a distant wolf howling. Also, despite that it was a period horror from American International Pictures and claims so on the poster, this is not … Continue reading Cry of the Banshee (1970)
Savage Weekend (1979)
The US theatrical release date for this film is 1979 or 1980, but it was actually filmed in 1976 and then had trouble securing release until it was picked up by The Cannon Group after a near disastrous showing at Cannes. Turns out the photo lab had put it in the wrong aspect ratio, so … Continue reading Savage Weekend (1979)
Phase IV (1974)
I love when a movie poster is totally wrong. There are no giant ants, the earth is not turned into a cemetery, the shiny dome does not catch on fire, and ants do not climb out of a bloody hole in a person's hand. The hole isn't bloody when they do that. Yeah, it's a … Continue reading Phase IV (1974)
The Minion (1998)
At the end of the last millennium, Dolph Lundgren acted in an action supernatural horror movie about the oncoming apocalypse. Surprisingly, this was done in 1998, the year before Arnold Schwarzenegger would release his own action supernatural horror movie End of Days. Of course, there are some similarities between the two, both involving fighting the forces … Continue reading The Minion (1998)
Mulberry Street (2006)
Hey folks, it's been a while. I took a break from here for a few months to allow myself to recharge. I know, you wanted your cheap and exploitative fix, and I wasn't here providing the sugar. I'm sorry. I was busy getting married. Anyway, I have a tradition every October of watching 31 horror … Continue reading Mulberry Street (2006)