Slime City (1988)

That name is a misnomer; there is no city. There are gallons of slime though. Woo, it’s time for a splatter film!

Alex gets a new apartment and whines about his girlfriend wanting to maintain her virginity. Then he meets the apartment’s residents: two old women, a weird hippy poet, and a sultry goth lady. The poet feeds him green goop, and the goth lady lays him. From there, Alex discovers that he must murder people or else he’ll slowly start to melt and that the building was once owned by a Satanic cult which has old cult members possess new tenants through murder rituals and melting. Melt or murder, but murder and become possessed. It’s not much of a choice, and eventually Alex starts getting a taste for it.

This movie switches between icky and dumb. I say icky and not gross, because the melting effects involve a lot of yellow liquid and Alex looking really sticky. Once he starts fully mutating into the Incredible Melting Man, his personality changes him into the cult leader Zachary. He also gets a stomach mouth like out of John Carpenter’s The Thing. But by the end of it, he gets disemboweled and dismembered, and you know what comes out? Omelets and sausages. I’m not kidding. This guy has an entire freaking breakfast bar for an intestinal track. It didn’t gross me out, it just made me hungry for Waffle House. And thus I realized that I, too, am in a Satanic cult.

While I’ve been critical here of the effects, I will praise something. In one scene, Alex/Zachary is decapitated and his head is stabbed. His brain then busts out of his skull and crawls across the floor. I didn’t know it until now, but this is something I needed more of in my life. All this, and Slime City did it nearly 15 years before The Crawling Brain. Suck it, world.

As for the rest of the cast, they vary, often depending on how much screen time they get. Usually the more time, the worse they are. Alex’s girlfriend does ok as the innocent virgin, but his douchy best friend? Well, I wasn’t upset to see his fate. There is also an ’80s cop, but he is both incompetent AND lacking a mullet. I knew he would never crack this case. And then there are the residents of the apartment, which are either underdeveloped, weird, or trying too hard to appear arousing. Seriously, goth neighbor lady would have been more subtle if she’d been humping the doorframe.

How do I rank this? Well, it’s like a weaker version of Street Trash. It’s less gross, less offensive, and less poorly written in that this movie actually has a proper act structure, but it looks like it was filmed with the same camera used for The Toolbox Murders…only Slime City came out a decade later, so camera quality should have improved, it just didn’t. That’s what happens when you put all your budget in crawling brains and sausages, folks.

Also, if your neighbors ever give you green pudding and absinthe for a welcoming meal, just move out immediately. It isn’t worth the hassle.

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