Sorority House Massacre II (1990)

You know how earlier I posted my thoughts on Sorority House Massacre being surprisingly unexploitative, with limited nudity, sexuality, and excessive violence, intelligent characters whose behavior was understandable, and a plot that was heavily inspired by the greats of its genre? Sorority House Massacre II goes entirely in the opposite direction. But then what should I have expected from a movie where a bunch of porn stars and Playboy bunnies spend the night acting as sorority girls in an old murder house? There’s lots of nudity, there’s lots of blood, there’s bad acting and even worse production quality. The only real similarity between this movie and the first is that they feature “sorority girls” getting killed.

A bunch of sorority girls from an unnamed sorority decide to spend the night in a house that will become their new sorority house so they can be there when the utilities folks and the movers arrive. Unfortunately this house has a creepy neighbor and a creepy history, home to a set of brutal murders by a man named Hokstedter, who slaughtered his whole family. Hokstedter died, but the girls decide to pull out an Ouija board and call out to him. The next thing they know, they’re getting hooked to death, possibly by the creepy neighbor who might be the real killer from before! Or not. I’m gonna ruin it, Hokstedter’s ghost has possessed one of the young ladies. It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t make much sense when watching the film. You’re probably not watching this for the plot anyway.

No, you’re probably watching this because it features a bunch of porn stars running around in lace underwear for two-thirds of the movie. That’s not a joke either, these ladies get naked around 20 minutes in, and by the 30 minute mark they’re wearing underwear and negligees. It’s an 80 minute movie. The other remaining minutes not spent on sexy starlets in thong panties are spent on a subplot with a couple of dumb cops who think that the creepy neighbor is really the killer and then visit a strip club. Look, the whole script was written over a weekend, ok?

Ok, so the script is bad and the acting is worse, but you know what else this movie does? It steals footage directly from the original Slumber Party Massacre and then attempts to completely repackage it by claiming it has a totally different plot. It also claims that Slumber Party Massacre was set in the same house DESPITE OBVIOUSLY BEING A DIFFERENT BUILDING! It tries to make up for this with blood and guts, but even here it fails. In one scene a woman gets killed just off screen by a big ol’ meat hook, and blood sprays the walls. The only problem is you can see the shadow of the guy holding the tube that shoots blood in the corner of the screen. Later, another of our nubile co-eds steps in a bear trap and gets dragged away by our killer, but for half a second as she is pulled back, we can see her foot again, magically sans trap or injury!

To put it bluntly, Sorority House Massacre II is one of those beautiful train wrecks, where you just can’t look away…mainly because let’s face it, there are a lot of shots of hot porn stars running around in their skimpy underwear and getting soaking wet in the rain. I know, it’s a bad, sexist movie. It’s still a fantasy, don’t judge me! Oh, but surprisingly there is no actual sex in this movie, so I guess I have to give it credit there. I think.

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