Futurekick (1991)

Yes, this ad is meant to make you think of The Terminator. No, this movie is nowhere near as good.

In the future, rich people live on the moon and make video games, while on Earth the rest of us play death sports, evil corporations harvest our body parts at a rate of like 1 heart a day or something for no given reason, and there are strippers everywhere. You seriously can’t turn a corner without bumping into a stripper. Also, there was a group of cyborgs built to be super cops by a corporation, but then they realized the corporate types were a bunch of douche bags, so the corporations killed them all…except for Don “The Dragon” Wilson.

When Meg Foster’s husband gets killed while slumming it on Earth, she comes down to find out what happened and ends up getting involved as killer cyborgs fight it out and rip out hearts at the behest of corporations and one lone corrupt police captain…for some reason. Why a police precinct captain has sway over a major corporation, I have no idea. Anyway, Foster and super cyborg “The Dragon” end up teaming up to fight psycho heart-ripper and his cyborg buddy, Chris Penn, who apparently just likes to show up and help folks who rip out hearts. In a bunch of scenes that make no sense (but generally involve gratuitous amounts of strippers), they investigate and then fight it out.

But in the end, it turns out it’s really all just a video game!  Nothing to see here, folks, just covering up our plot holes.

This movie…sucks.  I like Meg Foster, I like Chris Penn, and I fully understand and appreciate that Don Wilson is a master of kickboxing and one of the world’s greatest.  Seriously, he’s in the World Kickboxing Hall of Fame.  I wish they’d been given better material than this.


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